


of t-shirts, translations and typical owl behaviour (make that two)

by farseandfolly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, akaashi keiji - Freeform, bokuto koutarou - Freeform, help akaashi, kenma is shit #2, owls are great animals, the tags really aren't relevant if y'all haven't realised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 22:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farseandfolly/pseuds/farseandfolly
Summary: in which akaashi is fluent in both french and english and bokuto wants an edgy shirt.pointless banter, fluff and akaashi is a little shit.





	

 

 

"Ak _aa_ shi!" 

The raven haired boy reluctantly lifted his eyes from the pages of his book, the source of the noise already known to him. Despite confirming his suspicions, the quickening footsteps that soon followed did little to provide him with enough reaction time, as it was merely two seconds later that he felt Bokuto Koutarou, all sweat and muscle, collapse onto his back. 

"What did we say about reaction time?" Akaashi asked, his mock annoyance muffled by the pillows in which his face was buried. 

"Reaction time is best or I get no sex?" 

"No, you big oaf,"

"Reaction time is best, or it will make Akaashi depressed? Wait, no no, I got it: Reaction time is best or Akaashi will beat my ass? "

"The last one was close enough, would've appreciated a rhyme though," 

"Adds a lil' bounce," 

"Mhm," 

Bokuto burst into laughter, and Akaashi soon followed, his chuckles silenced by the aforementioned pillow, whose fluff (despite the comfort) was quickly diminishing his supply of air. 

"Bo, I'm gonna need you off now," 

"But Ak _aa_ shi," 

Akaashi, used to this daily regimen, was then promptly given the task of wrestling the bear-like owl hybrid off of his back, while successfully managing to keep his book in one piece. After the bear-owl hybrid had been defeated and given a kiss on the cheek, Akaashi wasted no time in returning to his reading. 

"Is that French?" 

Akaashi nodded. 

"Oh! That reminds me, Kuroo knows some guy who's gonna print shirts for us, so we can put whatever we want on them, and I want to put some cool phrase on it," 

"Have them say, 'Hoot! Hoot!' like your boxers," 

"How did you know about those?!" 

"I've seen you _naked_." Akaashi said pointedly, glancing in disbelief at the boy next to him, who, bless his soul, looked like a deer in headlights. Akaashi could practically hear the grasshopper chirps in his brain. "Bokuto, we've had _sex_ ," 

"Any _way_ ," Bokuto continued, raising his voice an octave and clasping his hands loudly,"I wanted you to give me some cool phrase to put on it," 

"Didn't I just now?" 

" _In French,_ " 

"I'm assuming Hoot Hoot is the same for all owls," Akaashi stated, turning back to his book, "Whether they live in France or Japan," 

"A different phrase! A cool one!" 

"Ask Oikawa, he's fluent too," 

"But we're dating, and Tooru's annoying," 

Akaashi nodded in agreement, chuckling slightly, before rolling onto his side so that he and Bokuto were in a spooning position. The rush of warmth was comforting, and Akaashi pressed closer, before exhaling contentedly. 

"Fine, in English then?" Bokuto asked, twirling his fingers through Akaashi's dark curls. 

"Fine. There's this really beautiful phrase in English, it's one of my personal favourites." 

"Really? What is it?"

"It's basically a sentence that - that represents unity and togetherness. You know, it shows that people can stand united as one," 

"Akaashi, that's beautiful. Say it, say it!" 

" _Fuck your mum_ ," 

Bokuto gasped. 

"Akaashi! It even sounds beautiful!" 

"I know." 

"I gotta tell Kuroo!" 

 "You two should get matching shirts,"Akaashi suggested, desperately trying to conceal the laughter that was bubbling in his gut. 

"Akaashi! That's brilliant! Do you want one too?" 

"Nah, I'm good for now," 

"You sure?" 

"Positive." 

Without warning, Bokuto sprang from their spooning position, running to the kitchen to retrieve his phone because ' _Holy shit, Kuroo's gonna piss when he hears this,_ '

And it was then that Akaashi realised that if there was truly a hell, he'd just successfully reserved a place for his own. 

 

"Um . . . mind telling me what ' _Fuck your mum_ ' means?" 

He'd be lying if he said that the call was expected, given that Kenma's preferred method of communication was through text or simply not at all, and the fact that he'd assumed that the two weren't that close. But he supposed that having boyfriends who were equally short on brain cells (he was in love with Bokuto regardless) bonded people closer than he originally thought. 

"What?" 

"Kuro's kept holding my hands all teary eyed and saying it to me, he said he and Bokuto are getting it printed on some shirts and you gave him the idea," 

Akaashi, in between silent, shaky laughter gave a brief description coloured with a variety of Japanese expletives, to which Kenma gave a silent laugh, only known to Akaashi through the breathing through the phone and the mental image of Kenma's shoulder's shaking heartily. 

Make that two places. 

 

 

Akaashi Keiji was a focused person. He always directed his attention to the task at hand, and swaying his concentration was not an easy feat. 

So, when Bokuto strode into the living room, with a greeting of 'HEYHEY _HEY_ ' and a strut that _Oikawa Tooru himself_ would approve of (or envy, knowing Oikawa) proudly sporting a black t-shirt with the words _'Fuck Your Mum'_ written in large, white italics across the front, Akaashi was surprised at his inability to cloak his peals of laughter, and quickly speed walked to the bathroom. 

And judging from the video he'd recieved from Kenma of Kuroo striding in a similar fashion, hands on hips, eyebrows raised to the high heavens and a smirk colouring his features, Kenma couldn't either. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was a little shitty thing I found really funny late last night. You know how it goes.  
> I read a headcanon about Akaashi's fluency in different languages a while back, so creds to that (i really can't remember who made it I'm sorry).  
> thanks for reading!  
> any comments/feedback is appreciated


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